Welcome to the Hickstionary, a landing spot for all things H family.
I'm Heidi. He's Rusty. And together we have our beautiful babe, Beckett and a furry menace, Dakota.
I mostly use this space to brag about how awesome the kid is, whine about how naughty the dog is & share an occasional deep thought.
Thanks for hanging out with us as we figure out this [blessed] life!

If you are looking for my photography blog (where words don't tend to fall out of my mouth nearly as freely), visit {captured by} heidi.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

hope

hope > despair

Saw this on a facebook status today (I think Compassion's but maybe Tom's?) and loved it.

And today I have hope.


I talked to my Dr. today. And the news wasn't good. It was something I had never imagined. But should have seen coming.

In case you aren't well versed in my health history (okay so everyone but maybe 3 of you), the short of it is that I have had symptoms of lots of autoimmune diseases. My health as been unpredictable at best for the last ten years. Most days it's easy to hide I manage to hide it. If we ever take our old computer to the computer dr... I could show you photos from the ER when I most obviously could not hide it. But I probably wouldn't.

Anyway.

So when this latest health issue came up- something that first became an issue about 8ish years ago, I should have but didn't assume autoimmune would play a factor.

So when my dr mentioned it today I, shouldn't have been but was very shocked.

But.

in a strange way it

gave

me

hope.


Relief that having more answers- though crappy ones at best (I say crappy because there's not much they do for autoimmune diseases), was still an answer.

It's hard to explain (hard enough to make me want to delete this mess of a thought) but each time God moves us closer to a door, though not ones we had ever imagined, it gives me peace.



It gives me hope.




(I know you're wishing I would have gone ahead and deleted this the last time I mentioned delete... but I'm not because I want to remember that on this day I felt hopeful.)

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