"For to you it has been granted on behalf of Christ, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake, having the same conflict which you saw in me and now hear is in." Philippians 1:29-30
"God is more concerned with your character than your comfort." -Life Above The Negativity
This week I ordered the book, Life Above The Negativity. Because lately I've been struggling with being positive.
It's easy to be positive in the summer. I love my job that time of year. It is easy to dream of all of the things I'm going to accomplish and all of the children I'm going to help in the school year.
It's easy to be a Christian in the summer.
When school starts and it's time to go back to work, reality hits. It's not as easy as it is in the summer. It's much, much harder.
I know there are Christians in my building. I know there are God fearing people that work along side me. The problem is it's not something that is talked about.
The last few years, I had a coworker whom was very strong in her faith. The two of us would eat lunch together and talk about faith. Instead of complaining about how hard it was to be a follower of Christ in our workplace, we made plans and talked about what we COULD do and then, what we DID do.
It was uplifting. It was refreshing. It kept me positive. It was easy to lean on someone else and say, "This may not be easy, but I know you understand."
This year, she took another job and is no longer in my building. While I miss having her work in my classroom, what I miss more is the Christian support I had in her.
When I hear negative talk, it's easy to succumb to it. It's easy to even join in. It's easy to start to believe it.
It is not easy being a Christian.
I feel outnumbered. I feel alone. I feel weak.
I make mistakes. I stumble. I talk negatively. I sin. I suffer.
"For to you it has been granted on behalf of Christ, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake, having the same conflict which you saw in me and now hear is in." Philippians 1:29-30
Suffer for His sake.
While it may be true that I am outnumbered and surrounded, I am not alone. I am not weak. I may stumble, but He will lift me up. I may be weak but He makes me strong.
I can lean on Him and say "This may not be easy, but I know you understand."
Because He doesn't say it will be easy.
In fact,
He promises
there
will
be
suffering.
But He also promises comfort in the suffering. He also counts it a blessing.
"For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds through Christ." 2 Corinthians 1:5
He is more concerned with my character than my comfort.
And I am building a lot of character this year.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Chaos
cha⋅os
[key-os] –noun
ɒs/ 
| 1. | a state of utter confusion or disorder; a total lack of organization or order. |
| 2. | any confused, disorderly mass |
As I was standing in the hall in between classes today, a teacher new to our building looked frazzled. Knowing she was assigned to assist with school pictures today, I asked how pictures where going. She said it was the most chaotic thing she had ever seen.
Chaos.
Total lack of organization or order. Chaos.
At work, I am not at all okay with chaos. I feel the need to be in control and organized (okay, maybe not the top of my desk, but everywhere else). I hate the feeling of uncertainty. The feeling of being devoid control. Chaos.
Do you ever feel your life is chaotic? Do you ever feel like you are not in control? Do you ever feel like you are living in chaos?
God says don't.
Psalm 46:10 -"Be still, and know that I am God."
He tells us to be still.
He tells us what we see as chaotic, is actually His plan.
Proverbs 21:1- "....Like the rivers of water, He turns it wherever He wishes."
Like the rivers of the water. Chaotic? No. His plan? Yes.
What looks random and chaotic to us is His work.
Lord, Help me take comfort knowing my apparent chaos is under the direction of Your hand. Amen.
Labels:
His love
Monday, August 24, 2009
Mo's Music
Two weeks ago I shared some of Maddox's booty shakin'.
This past weekend, Mo came to visit. She is also musically talented.
At least more so than her aunt.
This past weekend, Mo came to visit. She is also musically talented.
At least more so than her aunt.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Gift of Grace
Have you accepted the perfect gift? Are you certain?
This is a question that has come up with me a lot lately.
I am certain I have accepted His perfect gift and that no one can take that from me.
And I used to have a hard time understanding why someone that says they believe can also be unsure of this. Unsure of if they are going to heaven. Unsure of if they will be allowed to keep the perfect gift or have it stripped away from them.
Did you know that Christianity is nearly the only religion that believes in the perfect gift? That most other religions believe you must do good deeds to buy your way into Heaven?
I didn't. Which is why I may have had a hard time not understanding why a person could be so unsure of whether the perfect gift was theirs to keep or not.
But God tells us it is.
We are all sinners.
"As it is written, there is none righteous, no not one." -Romans 3:10
"For all have sinned and come short of the Glory of God." -Romans 3:21
The wage of sin is death.
"The wages of sin is death..." -Isaiah 64:6 (a)
But God has a perfect gift for us.
"...But the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord." -Isaiah 64:6 (b)
We can't buy His gift with good deeds.
"For by Grace ye are saved through faith; and that not of yourselves. But it is a gift of God." -Ephesians 2:8
If you believe He wants you to have this gift, confess it.
"That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised Him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation" -Romans 10:9-10
He promises.
"The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, ...but is long suffering to us, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance." -2 Peter 3:9
It's a gift. A free gift.
"And the Spirit and the bride say, Come. And let him that heareth say, Come. And let him that is thirsty come. And whosoever will, let him take the water of life freely." -Revelation 22:17
God tells us it's ours. It's ours to keep. In fact, there are no good deeds good enough to buy it. We can't afford the price of the perfect gift. But he has paid it for us. He has paid the price in full.
And it is ours.
Have you received the perfect gift?
This is part 3 in my attempt to organize my thoughts on His Grace.
Read part 1 here. And part 2 here.
To be continued.
This is a question that has come up with me a lot lately.
I am certain I have accepted His perfect gift and that no one can take that from me.
And I used to have a hard time understanding why someone that says they believe can also be unsure of this. Unsure of if they are going to heaven. Unsure of if they will be allowed to keep the perfect gift or have it stripped away from them.
Did you know that Christianity is nearly the only religion that believes in the perfect gift? That most other religions believe you must do good deeds to buy your way into Heaven?
I didn't. Which is why I may have had a hard time not understanding why a person could be so unsure of whether the perfect gift was theirs to keep or not.
But God tells us it is.
We are all sinners.
"As it is written, there is none righteous, no not one." -Romans 3:10
"For all have sinned and come short of the Glory of God." -Romans 3:21
The wage of sin is death.
"The wages of sin is death..." -Isaiah 64:6 (a)
But God has a perfect gift for us.
"...But the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord." -Isaiah 64:6 (b)
We can't buy His gift with good deeds.
"For by Grace ye are saved through faith; and that not of yourselves. But it is a gift of God." -Ephesians 2:8
If you believe He wants you to have this gift, confess it.
"That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised Him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation" -Romans 10:9-10
He promises.
"The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, ...but is long suffering to us, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance." -2 Peter 3:9
It's a gift. A free gift.
"And the Spirit and the bride say, Come. And let him that heareth say, Come. And let him that is thirsty come. And whosoever will, let him take the water of life freely." -Revelation 22:17
God tells us it's ours. It's ours to keep. In fact, there are no good deeds good enough to buy it. We can't afford the price of the perfect gift. But he has paid it for us. He has paid the price in full.
And it is ours.
Have you received the perfect gift?
This is part 3 in my attempt to organize my thoughts on His Grace.
Read part 1 here. And part 2 here.
To be continued.
A Perfect Gift
Have you ever actually received a perfect gift?
I have.
I remember initially receiving the gift a long time ago. I sat in the basement office of my childhood church. My mom was there. The pastor offered me a quarter. He said it wasn't a gift unless I kept it. He compared it to God's gift to me.
"For God so loved the world, that He gave his only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life." -John 3:16
His Son. What a gift of sacrifice. His Grace. What a gift of love.
He loves us. He wants us to be in heaven with Him. He gave us this gift.
It's not a gift unless we accept it. We can't return it or regift it (or store it in the giver's basement).
It is a perfect gift.
Have you received any perfect gifts lately?
This is part 2 in my attempt to organize my thoughts on His grace.
Read part 1 here. And part 3 here.
I have.
I remember initially receiving the gift a long time ago. I sat in the basement office of my childhood church. My mom was there. The pastor offered me a quarter. He said it wasn't a gift unless I kept it. He compared it to God's gift to me.
"For God so loved the world, that He gave his only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life." -John 3:16
His Son. What a gift of sacrifice. His Grace. What a gift of love.
He loves us. He wants us to be in heaven with Him. He gave us this gift.
It's not a gift unless we accept it. We can't return it or regift it (or store it in the giver's basement).
It is a perfect gift.
Have you received any perfect gifts lately?
This is part 2 in my attempt to organize my thoughts on His grace.
Read part 1 here. And part 3 here.
Gifts
It seems like at this stage in life, there are a lot of gifts to give. Wedding showers, bachelorette parties, weddings, new babies, niece & nephew birthdays. Not even mentioning Christmas gifts. Gifts.
I used to love giving gifts. I'd search and search for the perfect gift. I'd take into consideration what the person was interested in. What they loved. What they spent their time doing. Then I'd consider what they already owned. And what they might want more of.
Once I had the perfect gift in mind, I'd think of a way to personalize it. Make it unique, just for them. Make it perfect.
Often times, this was very rewarding: my college adviser that was almost in tears from the canoe themed gift I gave her before graduating, right down to the canoe card, she was touched that I had picked up on that being one of her main interests.
It feels good when you've found that perfect gift and you get a response of great appreciation.
Sometimes though, when you've put a lot of thought and effort into a perfect gift, you don't get the response you might hope for.
And sometimes gifts are just plain flops.... like the putt putt golf set I was just sure my brother would love (it's in the basement of my own house now...).
This response (or lack of response) sometimes makes gift giving hard. Did they like it? Do they appreciate it? Are they going to return it? Or worse, will they regift it? to you? (Okay, that hasn't actually happened to me, but is a fear I've entertained before...)
Maybe I'm less confident now. Maybe I'm more worried about making things "even" as I get older. Maybe I've exhausted all of my "really good gift ideas." Maybe I'm less creative.
But for me, gift giving isn't as easy as it used to be.
What are some perfect gifts you've received lately?
This is part 1 in my attempt to organize my thoughts on His grace.
Read part 2 here. And part 3 here.
I used to love giving gifts. I'd search and search for the perfect gift. I'd take into consideration what the person was interested in. What they loved. What they spent their time doing. Then I'd consider what they already owned. And what they might want more of.
Once I had the perfect gift in mind, I'd think of a way to personalize it. Make it unique, just for them. Make it perfect.
Often times, this was very rewarding: my college adviser that was almost in tears from the canoe themed gift I gave her before graduating, right down to the canoe card, she was touched that I had picked up on that being one of her main interests.
It feels good when you've found that perfect gift and you get a response of great appreciation.
Sometimes though, when you've put a lot of thought and effort into a perfect gift, you don't get the response you might hope for.
And sometimes gifts are just plain flops.... like the putt putt golf set I was just sure my brother would love (it's in the basement of my own house now...).
This response (or lack of response) sometimes makes gift giving hard. Did they like it? Do they appreciate it? Are they going to return it? Or worse, will they regift it? to you? (Okay, that hasn't actually happened to me, but is a fear I've entertained before...)
Maybe I'm less confident now. Maybe I'm more worried about making things "even" as I get older. Maybe I've exhausted all of my "really good gift ideas." Maybe I'm less creative.
But for me, gift giving isn't as easy as it used to be.
What are some perfect gifts you've received lately?
This is part 1 in my attempt to organize my thoughts on His grace.
Read part 2 here. And part 3 here.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
(One of the) Best Week(s) Ever!!
This week was one of the best weeks ever! And I took a lot of pictures.....
It started with our family reunion. The Green Family Reunion is always the 2nd Sunday of August every year. My grandma Helen was a Green and these are her remaining siblings (out of the original 13).
It cant be a best week ever without getting some craft time in. I worked on kitchen curtains and some other projects that I wanted to get done this summer.
It was also my birthday week. My sister brought Maddox and some of our cousin's kids up to stay the night. In honor of my birthday week, they brought a Cheesecake Factory Banana Cream Cheese Cake. Yum!
Have I mentioned before that Maddox likes to help??? He spent more time washing our dishes last week than I did.
That evening we went bowling. I almost lost to Maddox (2yo) and Amanda (6yo) but thankfully Andrew (11yo) finished my 10th frame for me and I squeaked by the younger ones. Whew!
I got another early birthday present from Rusty. A fire pit! We've always wanted one and this was the perfect night to use it!
Andrew (aka Bear) helped Rusty put it together. Andrew says he is going to start his own show, Man Vs. Wild, Front Porch Edition.
The next morning, Amanda & Maddox were busy. They jumped on the bed, then played with play dough.
Dakota rested.....
The big kids rested too.....
Amanda & Maddox showed off some of their creations...
.....then jumped on the bed again.....
We spent the afternoon swimming.
Maddox did not like the rest breaks. But he LOVED the big water slides. He kept saying, "Again, Again!"
Friday, Rusty & I spent my actual birthday at the State Fair. We went to watch our friends' brother play in the talent show.
Some of his nephews came to sit with us. There were a lot of acts... we waited....
...and waited.....
until it was finally Jay's turn! He did great!
And Rusty & I ended up spending the rest of the day and evening at the fair. It was hot, sticky, and a lot of fun. We are trying to enjoy what's left of our (one of the best) week(s) (ever) before having to go back to work on Monday. I can't believe summer is already over!! It really is my favorite time of year!!
It started with our family reunion. The Green Family Reunion is always the 2nd Sunday of August every year. My grandma Helen was a Green and these are her remaining siblings (out of the original 13).
It cant be a best week ever without getting some craft time in. I worked on kitchen curtains and some other projects that I wanted to get done this summer.
It was also my birthday week. My sister brought Maddox and some of our cousin's kids up to stay the night. In honor of my birthday week, they brought a Cheesecake Factory Banana Cream Cheese Cake. Yum!
Have I mentioned before that Maddox likes to help??? He spent more time washing our dishes last week than I did.
That evening we went bowling. I almost lost to Maddox (2yo) and Amanda (6yo) but thankfully Andrew (11yo) finished my 10th frame for me and I squeaked by the younger ones. Whew!
I got another early birthday present from Rusty. A fire pit! We've always wanted one and this was the perfect night to use it!
Andrew (aka Bear) helped Rusty put it together. Andrew says he is going to start his own show, Man Vs. Wild, Front Porch Edition.
The next morning, Amanda & Maddox were busy. They jumped on the bed, then played with play dough.
Dakota rested.....
The big kids rested too.....
Amanda & Maddox showed off some of their creations...
.....then jumped on the bed again.....
We spent the afternoon swimming.
Maddox did not like the rest breaks. But he LOVED the big water slides. He kept saying, "Again, Again!"
Friday, Rusty & I spent my actual birthday at the State Fair. We went to watch our friends' brother play in the talent show.
Some of his nephews came to sit with us. There were a lot of acts... we waited....
...and waited.....
until it was finally Jay's turn! He did great!
And Rusty & I ended up spending the rest of the day and evening at the fair. It was hot, sticky, and a lot of fun. We are trying to enjoy what's left of our (one of the best) week(s) (ever) before having to go back to work on Monday. I can't believe summer is already over!! It really is my favorite time of year!!
Take Me Out to the Ballgame (again)
Last week, we had Maddox, Morgan, and Cooper all come stay with us. We spent the evening at the ball park and the next day we made frames for their baseball pictures. What a fun time! We love these kiddos.
"Please Mom... H's House!"
"Please Mom... H's house!!" (If you know my nephew Maddox and can picture his voice, that sounds a lot cuter.)
Lately, our nephew Maddox has loved coming to our house and we've been fortunate to have him over several times. My sister said for awhile every time they would get into the car he would say, "H's house??"
He loves helping Uncle Rusty. The two of them pulled weeds and worked on the yard for a long time!
Never ask a little boy with a water hose........
......to say cheese for the camera!
After a fun week, we had to take him back home.
But didn't leave until he got in some final booty shakin to his favorite song.... Peanut Butter Jelly Time!
Lately, our nephew Maddox has loved coming to our house and we've been fortunate to have him over several times. My sister said for awhile every time they would get into the car he would say, "H's house??"
He loves helping Uncle Rusty. The two of them pulled weeds and worked on the yard for a long time!
Never ask a little boy with a water hose........
......to say cheese for the camera!
After a fun week, we had to take him back home.
But didn't leave until he got in some final booty shakin to his favorite song.... Peanut Butter Jelly Time!
Friday, August 14, 2009
Favorite Vacation
My favorite place to vacation is anyplace hot, sunny, and with a beach. Mexico, California, Hawaii, even Florida. I love looking out into the ocean and being in awe. I love feeling the sand on my feet. I love the relaxing sound of the ocean, the waves. I love the peacefulness of it.
I went to Florida with some of my family when I was in high school. It was great because it was my first time of seeing the ocean.
California was amazing because it was my first "real" trip "alone." No parent, no chaperon. It was a great feeling to be (almost) 18 and to experience the ocean "my way."
Some of my best friends and I went to Mexico one year for spring break. That of course was an amazing trip. I could honestly lay on an amazing beach for an entire week and never be bored.
Hawaii, of course, was our honeymoon. Rusty and I actually went on a cruise and it was, of course, amazing.
My favorite thing: Reading by the ocean.
One of Rusty's favorites: lots of food, all of the time!
And since today is my birthday..... maybe my husband is taking me to the ocean as a surprise gift.... or maybe not. :)
I went to Florida with some of my family when I was in high school. It was great because it was my first time of seeing the ocean.
California was amazing because it was my first "real" trip "alone." No parent, no chaperon. It was a great feeling to be (almost) 18 and to experience the ocean "my way."
Some of my best friends and I went to Mexico one year for spring break. That of course was an amazing trip. I could honestly lay on an amazing beach for an entire week and never be bored.
Hawaii, of course, was our honeymoon. Rusty and I actually went on a cruise and it was, of course, amazing.
My favorite thing: Reading by the ocean.
One of Rusty's favorites: lots of food, all of the time!
And since today is my birthday..... maybe my husband is taking me to the ocean as a surprise gift.... or maybe not. :)
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Love Forgives
As I've mentioned before, I've been (slowly) working through the Love Dare.
One of the added benefits of the Love Dare is that the Dares are helpful for ALL relationships, not just your relationship with your spouse.
A recent Dare is something that I had been working on (and posting about, thendeleting cutting/pasting to my private blog) this summer (with others in my life, not my husband). A few people that read my blog mentioned they were also working on this so I thought I'd post this dare here. Forgiveness.
Love Dare
Day 25
Love Forgives
What I have forgiven if I have forgiven anything, I did it for your sake in the presences of Christ. 2 Corinthians 2:10
This one is tough- perhaps the toughest dare in the book. But if here is to be any hope for your relationship, this is a challenge that must absolutely be taken seriously. Counselors and ministers who deal with broken couples on a regular basis will tell you that this is the most complex problem of all, a rupture that is often the last to be repaired. It cannot just be considered and contemplated but must be deliberately put into practice. Forgiveness has to happen, or a successful relationship wont.
Jesus painted a vivid image of forgiveness in His parable of the ungrateful servant. A man who owed a sizeable sum of money was surprised when his master heard his appeals for mercy an dtotally canceled his debt. But upon being released from this enormous load, the servant did a most unexpected thing: he went to another man who owed him a much smaller amount and demanded immediate payment. When the master heard of it, things changed dramatically in his arrangement with the slave. "His lord, moved with anger, handed him over to the torturers until he should repay all that was owed him" (Matthew 18:34). A day that had begun with joy and relief ended in grief and hopelessness.
Torture. Prison. When you think of unforgiveness, this is what should come to your mind, for Jesus said, "My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart" (Matthew 18:35).
Imagine you find yourself in a prison like setting. As you look around, you see a number of cells visible from where you're standing. You see people from your past incarcerated there- people who wounded you as a child. You see people you once called friends but who wronged you at some point in life. You might see one or both of your parents there, perhaps a brother or sister or some other family member. Even your spouse is locked in nearby, trapped with all the others in this jail of your own making.
This prison, you see, is a room in your own heart. This dark, drafty, depressing chamber exists inside you every day. But not far away, Jesus is standing there, extending to you a key that will release every inmate.
No. You don't want any part of it. These people have hurt you too badly. They knew what they were doing and yet they did it anyway- even your spouse, the one you should have been able to count on most of all. So you resist and turn away. You're unwilling to stay here any longer- seeing Jesus, seeing the key in His hand, knowing what He's asking you to do. It's just too much.
But in trying to escape, you make a startling discovery. There is no way out. You're trapped inside with all the other captives. Your forgiveness, anger, and bitterness have made a prisoner of you as well. Like the servant in Jesus' story, who was forgiven an impossible debt, you have chosen not to forgive and have been handed over to the jailers and torturers. Your freedom is now dependent on your forigiveness.
Coming to this conclusion usually takes awhile. We see all kinds of dangers and risks involved in forgiving others. For instance, what they did was really wrong, whether they admit it or not. They may not even be sorry about it. They may feel perfectly justified in their actions, even going so far as to blame you for it. But forgiveness doesn't absolve anyone of blame. It doesn't clear their record with God. It just clears you of having to worry about how to punish them. When you forgive another person, you're not turning them loose. You're just turning them over to God, who can be counted on to deal with them His way. You're saving yourself the trouble of scripting anymore arguments or trying to prevail in this situation. It's not about winning an losing anymore. It's about freedom. It's about letting go.
That's why you often hear people who have genuinely forgiven say, "It felt like a weight being lifted off my shoulders." Yes, that's exactly what it is. It's like a breath of fresh air rushing into your heart. The stale dankness of the prison house is flooded with light and coolness. For the first time in a long time, you feel at peace. You feel free.
But how do you do it? You release your anger and the responsibility for judging this person to the Lord. "Never take your own revenge, beloved but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, 'Vengence is Mine, I will repay,' says the Lord (Romans 12:19).
How do you know you've done it? You know it when the thought of their name or the sight of their face- rather than causing your blood to boil- causes you to feel sorry for them instead, to pity them, to genuinely hope they get this turned around.
There's so much more that could be said and so many emotional issues you may need to fight through to get there. But great relationships are not created by people who have never hurt each other, only by people who choose to keep "no record of wrongs" (1 Corinthians 13:5).
Whatever you haven't forgiven, forgive it today. Let it go. Just as we ask Jesus to forgive us our debts each day, we must ask Him to help us forgive our debtors each day as well. Unforgiveness has been keeping you in prison too long. Say from your heart, "I choose to forgive."
What did you choose to forgive? How long have you been carrying the weight of it? What are the possibilities now that you've released this matter to God?
PS- I really started dealing with this several months ago and just recently (as in July) felt 100% free. There were several things that triggered this, a Dove Promise saying, "Live in the present, forgive the past," and working through Ephesians, "Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you with all malice. And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you." --Ephesians 4:31-3.
The Bible has a lot to say about forgiveness. Ephesians is a great place to start.
One of the added benefits of the Love Dare is that the Dares are helpful for ALL relationships, not just your relationship with your spouse.
A recent Dare is something that I had been working on (and posting about, then
Love Dare
Day 25
Love Forgives
What I have forgiven if I have forgiven anything, I did it for your sake in the presences of Christ. 2 Corinthians 2:10
This one is tough- perhaps the toughest dare in the book. But if here is to be any hope for your relationship, this is a challenge that must absolutely be taken seriously. Counselors and ministers who deal with broken couples on a regular basis will tell you that this is the most complex problem of all, a rupture that is often the last to be repaired. It cannot just be considered and contemplated but must be deliberately put into practice. Forgiveness has to happen, or a successful relationship wont.
Jesus painted a vivid image of forgiveness in His parable of the ungrateful servant. A man who owed a sizeable sum of money was surprised when his master heard his appeals for mercy an dtotally canceled his debt. But upon being released from this enormous load, the servant did a most unexpected thing: he went to another man who owed him a much smaller amount and demanded immediate payment. When the master heard of it, things changed dramatically in his arrangement with the slave. "His lord, moved with anger, handed him over to the torturers until he should repay all that was owed him" (Matthew 18:34). A day that had begun with joy and relief ended in grief and hopelessness.
Torture. Prison. When you think of unforgiveness, this is what should come to your mind, for Jesus said, "My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart" (Matthew 18:35).
Imagine you find yourself in a prison like setting. As you look around, you see a number of cells visible from where you're standing. You see people from your past incarcerated there- people who wounded you as a child. You see people you once called friends but who wronged you at some point in life. You might see one or both of your parents there, perhaps a brother or sister or some other family member. Even your spouse is locked in nearby, trapped with all the others in this jail of your own making.
This prison, you see, is a room in your own heart. This dark, drafty, depressing chamber exists inside you every day. But not far away, Jesus is standing there, extending to you a key that will release every inmate.
No. You don't want any part of it. These people have hurt you too badly. They knew what they were doing and yet they did it anyway- even your spouse, the one you should have been able to count on most of all. So you resist and turn away. You're unwilling to stay here any longer- seeing Jesus, seeing the key in His hand, knowing what He's asking you to do. It's just too much.
But in trying to escape, you make a startling discovery. There is no way out. You're trapped inside with all the other captives. Your forgiveness, anger, and bitterness have made a prisoner of you as well. Like the servant in Jesus' story, who was forgiven an impossible debt, you have chosen not to forgive and have been handed over to the jailers and torturers. Your freedom is now dependent on your forigiveness.
Coming to this conclusion usually takes awhile. We see all kinds of dangers and risks involved in forgiving others. For instance, what they did was really wrong, whether they admit it or not. They may not even be sorry about it. They may feel perfectly justified in their actions, even going so far as to blame you for it. But forgiveness doesn't absolve anyone of blame. It doesn't clear their record with God. It just clears you of having to worry about how to punish them. When you forgive another person, you're not turning them loose. You're just turning them over to God, who can be counted on to deal with them His way. You're saving yourself the trouble of scripting anymore arguments or trying to prevail in this situation. It's not about winning an losing anymore. It's about freedom. It's about letting go.
That's why you often hear people who have genuinely forgiven say, "It felt like a weight being lifted off my shoulders." Yes, that's exactly what it is. It's like a breath of fresh air rushing into your heart. The stale dankness of the prison house is flooded with light and coolness. For the first time in a long time, you feel at peace. You feel free.
But how do you do it? You release your anger and the responsibility for judging this person to the Lord. "Never take your own revenge, beloved but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, 'Vengence is Mine, I will repay,' says the Lord (Romans 12:19).
How do you know you've done it? You know it when the thought of their name or the sight of their face- rather than causing your blood to boil- causes you to feel sorry for them instead, to pity them, to genuinely hope they get this turned around.
There's so much more that could be said and so many emotional issues you may need to fight through to get there. But great relationships are not created by people who have never hurt each other, only by people who choose to keep "no record of wrongs" (1 Corinthians 13:5).
Whatever you haven't forgiven, forgive it today. Let it go. Just as we ask Jesus to forgive us our debts each day, we must ask Him to help us forgive our debtors each day as well. Unforgiveness has been keeping you in prison too long. Say from your heart, "I choose to forgive."
What did you choose to forgive? How long have you been carrying the weight of it? What are the possibilities now that you've released this matter to God?
PS- I really started dealing with this several months ago and just recently (as in July) felt 100% free. There were several things that triggered this, a Dove Promise saying, "Live in the present, forgive the past," and working through Ephesians, "Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you with all malice. And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you." --Ephesians 4:31-3.
The Bible has a lot to say about forgiveness. Ephesians is a great place to start.
To Do List
I'm in desperately trying to finish my summer to do list before school starts mode. I need some accountability.
1. Buy fabric for kitchen curtains [X]
2. Finish sewing kitchen curtains [ ]
3. Finish painting windows [ ]
4. Set aside daily time for Bible reading [ ]
5. Finish & return library books [ ]
6. Sew cross country pants [ ]
7. Sew pillow covers [ ]
8. Sew heat packs [ ]
9. Sew ice packs [ ]
10. Clean windows [ ]
11. Finish porch columns [ ]
12. Organize classroom [ ]
13. Watch Freedom Writers before speaker on Monday [ ]
14. Trip to Columbia??? [ ]
15. Be thankful to have a job to go back to. Stop complaining about said job. (Especially in front of many friends currently laid off....jeesh!) [ ]
Yes, my sister is bringing Maddox and our cousins kids up for a couple days.
Yes, that means I only have 3 days to complete this list. Unless we go to Columbia, then only one day.
Yes, I put that first one on there just to give me something the check off my list.
Yes, I'm procrastinating by blogging right now. (Actually, I'm waiting for the paint to dry on another summer project and my last sewing machine needle just broke.)
1. Buy fabric for kitchen curtains [X]
2. Finish sewing kitchen curtains [ ]
3. Finish painting windows [ ]
4. Set aside daily time for Bible reading [ ]
5. Finish & return library books [ ]
6. Sew cross country pants [ ]
7. Sew pillow covers [ ]
8. Sew heat packs [ ]
9. Sew ice packs [ ]
10. Clean windows [ ]
11. Finish porch columns [ ]
12. Organize classroom [ ]
13. Watch Freedom Writers before speaker on Monday [ ]
14. Trip to Columbia??? [ ]
15. Be thankful to have a job to go back to. Stop complaining about said job. (Especially in front of many friends currently laid off....jeesh!) [ ]
Yes, my sister is bringing Maddox and our cousins kids up for a couple days.
Yes, that means I only have 3 days to complete this list. Unless we go to Columbia, then only one day.
Yes, I put that first one on there just to give me something the check off my list.
Yes, I'm procrastinating by blogging right now. (Actually, I'm waiting for the paint to dry on another summer project and my last sewing machine needle just broke.)
Monday, August 10, 2009
(in)courage
Even though I'm feeling over capacity lately, I'm encouraged knowing He sees the big picture.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
His thoughts. His ways. His timing. His plan. His big picture.
He can see all of it. He can see the entire big picture.
One time when I was in middle school, there was a big wreck on the interstate not far from my hometown. Several cars, semis, trailers. I remember driving past and seeing all of the ambulances and the life flight helicopter. I remember seeing people on stretchers everywhere. I remember it was the first time I had seen body bags in real life. I remember feeling so sad for the victims.
I remember that week at church, another family from our church had also driven past the same wreck. This couple had taken their grandson to get donuts before coming home the day of the accident. It took what seemed like forever for them to get through the check out line. The cashier was evidently new at her job and did not know what she was doing. The grandfather grumbled. He was complaining about how long it was taking and how they really didn't need donuts anyway. The grandson, five years old at the time, insisted on getting the donuts despite the long wait. The grandmother said it was okay to wait and grandfather continued to grumble.
Minutes later, finally out of the check out line and on the way home, they came upon the wreck. It had just occurred, traffic had slowed, but there were no emergency vehicles there yet.
Grandfather was upset at yet another inconvenience slowing down his day but the five year old was pleased. "Grandpa," he said, "Isn't it great that God made us wait so long for donuts and saved us from being in this wreck?"
That little boy is no longer so little and every time I see him, I wonder if he remembers this scene? I wonder if he remembers that God always has a plan and that while we may seem inconvenienced, irritated, or down right mad at God, His plan, His timing, is always perfect.
He can see the big picture. He knows what happened yesterday, whats happening now, what will happen tomorrow.
He may "inconvenience" us with long lines for donuts. It's easy to be mad at Him. It's easy to be frustrated with Him. It's easy to blame Him and to ask Him why.
It's easy to to be mad because we can't see the Big Picture. It's hard to look at an inconvenience and see a blessing. His ways are greater than my ways. His thoughts greater than my thoughts.
My prayer today is that I will fully trust in Him. That I will understand while life's "inconveniences" are often hard to bear, that they are a part of His wonderful plan.
Lord, help me to remember that my "inconveniences" are a part of Your Big Picture.
Sunday, July 12, 2009 Big Picture
"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways," says the Lord. "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are my ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts." -Isaiah 55:8-9His thoughts. His ways. His timing. His plan. His big picture.
He can see all of it. He can see the entire big picture.
One time when I was in middle school, there was a big wreck on the interstate not far from my hometown. Several cars, semis, trailers. I remember driving past and seeing all of the ambulances and the life flight helicopter. I remember seeing people on stretchers everywhere. I remember it was the first time I had seen body bags in real life. I remember feeling so sad for the victims.
I remember that week at church, another family from our church had also driven past the same wreck. This couple had taken their grandson to get donuts before coming home the day of the accident. It took what seemed like forever for them to get through the check out line. The cashier was evidently new at her job and did not know what she was doing. The grandfather grumbled. He was complaining about how long it was taking and how they really didn't need donuts anyway. The grandson, five years old at the time, insisted on getting the donuts despite the long wait. The grandmother said it was okay to wait and grandfather continued to grumble.
Minutes later, finally out of the check out line and on the way home, they came upon the wreck. It had just occurred, traffic had slowed, but there were no emergency vehicles there yet.
Grandfather was upset at yet another inconvenience slowing down his day but the five year old was pleased. "Grandpa," he said, "Isn't it great that God made us wait so long for donuts and saved us from being in this wreck?"
That little boy is no longer so little and every time I see him, I wonder if he remembers this scene? I wonder if he remembers that God always has a plan and that while we may seem inconvenienced, irritated, or down right mad at God, His plan, His timing, is always perfect.
He can see the big picture. He knows what happened yesterday, whats happening now, what will happen tomorrow.
He may "inconvenience" us with long lines for donuts. It's easy to be mad at Him. It's easy to be frustrated with Him. It's easy to blame Him and to ask Him why.
It's easy to to be mad because we can't see the Big Picture. It's hard to look at an inconvenience and see a blessing. His ways are greater than my ways. His thoughts greater than my thoughts.
My prayer today is that I will fully trust in Him. That I will understand while life's "inconveniences" are often hard to bear, that they are a part of His wonderful plan.
Lord, help me to remember that my "inconveniences" are a part of Your Big Picture.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Over Capacity
I feel like my blog should have the Twitter Over Capacity page showing right now. As in, I am Over Capacity.
Thus, my blogs mostly being auto-posts lately.
I will be doing some updating
In case you were worried.
Or not.
Friday, August 7, 2009
Wedding Reception
This week, Kelly's "Show Us" is Wedding Receptions and Honeymoons.
I'll post honeymoon pics next week, as we went to Hawaii and it is one of my "favorite vacations" (next weeks post!).
We had our reception 30 miles away from our church because in our small town, there aren't a lot of options. We had it in the ballroom of Lakeside Casino.
We opted to not do a "head table" and instead sat at our own table with our wedding party and their guests at the tables around us.
Grandma Kathryn made us a beautiful quilt that we used as our guest "book."
Neither of us are huge cake people so we had cheese cake. We had about 15 different kinds of cheesecake.
Along with the cheesecake, we had a groom's cookie cake, a "mother's cake," a birthday cake for my uncle, a candy buffet, homemade ice cream, and of course a chocolate fountain. Oh... and we had "real food" too. Sort of. We did an appetizers buffet of some of our favorite foods. YUM.
I'm not sure the DJ liked the caricature (because he gathered the bigger crowd) but everyone else seemed to love it. We love going to visit family/friends and seeing their caricature from our wedding hanging up.
Some of the kidlins that were there.
Off to the casino. We didn't want the day to ever end. I wanted to wear my wedding dress as long as I could! ;)
Just in case you aren't sick of our wedding photos yet, you can check out a book I made on shutterfly here.
I'll post honeymoon pics next week, as we went to Hawaii and it is one of my "favorite vacations" (next weeks post!).
We had our reception 30 miles away from our church because in our small town, there aren't a lot of options. We had it in the ballroom of Lakeside Casino.
We opted to not do a "head table" and instead sat at our own table with our wedding party and their guests at the tables around us.
Grandma Kathryn made us a beautiful quilt that we used as our guest "book."
Neither of us are huge cake people so we had cheese cake. We had about 15 different kinds of cheesecake.
Along with the cheesecake, we had a groom's cookie cake, a "mother's cake," a birthday cake for my uncle, a candy buffet, homemade ice cream, and of course a chocolate fountain. Oh... and we had "real food" too. Sort of. We did an appetizers buffet of some of our favorite foods. YUM.
I'm not sure the DJ liked the caricature (because he gathered the bigger crowd) but everyone else seemed to love it. We love going to visit family/friends and seeing their caricature from our wedding hanging up.
Some of the kidlins that were there.
Off to the casino. We didn't want the day to ever end. I wanted to wear my wedding dress as long as I could! ;)
Just in case you aren't sick of our wedding photos yet, you can check out a book I made on shutterfly here.
Labels:
wedding
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