My Hopes for 2011.

As I type this, it's still 2010. Christmas is just around the corner and we are getting ready to welcome in 2011. While career and health wise, 2010 (and 09, and....) was a challenging year, the year did bring high hopes for a bright future.

To choose one quote to sum up my feelings on 2010 it would be:

"In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity." -Einstein

Choosing one word for 2010: opportunity.

With multiple challenges at work, God placed an amazing opportunity in my lap (literally- in the form of a new camera near the end of 2009). I started the year with a new hobby and it morphed into a part-time, then full-time (when I could find the the time) job.

I discovered that I loved it. And that, with some adjustments, I could possibly make it a career.

We were (still) struggling with infertility. (As I type this, we still are- please don't correct my tense use English teachers- I have high hopes that God will change this from 'are' to 'were' by the time this posts.

We think about adoption. We talk about adoption. We've hoped to adopt but the doors keep closing.

It is in our hearts and we do hope to adopt someday but at this point I'm longing for a newborn in our arms.

Photographing newborns is such a treasure to me. I meet these tiny, precious, miracles just a few days old and I just fall in love. I'm completely in awe of them. I take the job of capturing their brand newness seriously. I'm truly blessed to get the chance to take on this job. I am humbled and honored that parents would choose me to capture these memories and that God would use me to record this moment in their lives.

I think about adoption and how, in some cases, parents may not get to meet their little one as a newborn (and sometimes not until much later). My heart aches for them but I love that this job helps me to preserve that special newborn time.

I had a dream last night. Rusty and I were cuddling on our very own newborn. We were so happy. I believe God. I believe that He has a big plan for us. I pray, oh I pray, that His plan for us involves blessings in the form of babies. To be honest, I had lost hope that it did until I woke up from my dream last night. It was the happiest I had been in such a long time. Even as I awoke, I wasn't sad that it was only a dream- I was happy that it was God's way of telling me whats yet to come. I trust in Him. I have high hopes for this year.

As I think about opportunity in the middle of difficulty, I have to wonder if His plan for me might involve using my pain from longing for a newborn and applying it to photography. I would love, love, love to start photographing more newborns and maybe He's given me the love I need for them by making it so much more meaningful to me.

I pray that when this posts (long after I've forgotten about it and right when I will be surprised to see it) that I'm on a new career path, that I'm holding a baby in my arms, and that R and I love each other more than ever. I pray that we will be praising God for all the blessings in 2011 and thanking Him for carrying out His will in our lives.

I know I'm thankful for His will in my life in 2010. I don't fully understand it yet, but I feel so blessed.

'A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten and the future worth living for.' - unknown

Beckett on the {cb}h Blog.

There are finally a few pictures of Beckett up on the {cb}h blog (which translates into 'I'm finally caught up on {cb}h work and had time to save my own little guy's photos!').
You can check him out here: http://www.capturedbyheidiphoto.com/2011/12/beckett-dane-brand-new.html

In related news...
How do you stay caught up and organized with all the pictures of your own kids? I am SO organized with my client shots it's ridiculous. I have them saved and backed up and saved again. They are organized by client and date and I can find them in no time.

You would think it would be easy for me to do the same with B's pictures but it's not! I think part of the reason is that there are pictures of him that I want to edit (while most of them I don't edit) so sorting between the two becomes tricky.
One of the big reasons that I wanted to start photography in the first place was to be able to capture photos of our own babies some day. I have to admit... I have taken less photos of Beckett than I have of many of my clients. Seriously. Isn't that terrible!!?!?

Take his 'newborn' photos for instance. We had literally snapped 3 'newborn' shots of him and two of those were just laying in our bed upstairs. We finally got a few more pictures of him at 5 weeks old. FIVE WEEKS. He was definitely not bendy and posey anymore. :(

Setting the studio up for a session then doing the actual pictures is A LOT of work. The set up, the clean up, the time, the editing, etc... it takes forever. And frankly (I'm really embarrassed to admit this.....) it's hard to do when you aren't getting paid. Okay, yes, my payment would have been the pictures of my sweet baby but when it comes between pictures of him and pictures of someone else's baby that pay the bills, I had to choose the other. How sad is that?
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE taking pictures. I really do love it and I'm really blessed to have a hobby that can help pay the bills but just because I love doing it doesn't mean it's not a lot of work.

I guess I'm just wondering how my photographer friends manage to get it all done. How do you stay caught up on your paid work and find time to document your own life? How do you enjoy the moment but still manage to get photos of the moments? Do you take your camera to family functions or leave it behind so people don't put you to work?

Last year I did the 365 and it was so fun to go back through and put them all together. I didn't do it this year and I have hardly any photos from 2011. (Even since B's birth!) I am contemplating doing it again in 2012 but so afraid of getting caught up in the pictures and missing out on the moments. Any suggestions??

Christmas Morning

It was the best Christmas morning ever. I'm SO glad we were able to celebrate Christmas at home as a new little family. It was perfect!! Beckett was up and ready to go but daddy wanted to sleep in so we had to wait. (I kind of thought those type of Christmas mornings would come when B was a little older!) ;)

Once we were all up, we drank our hot chocolate in front of the fireplace- one of my favorite things to do!

We opened up our gifts. Santa brought me a bread machine, daddy some new shoes (and a matching pair for B!) and a jumperoo for Beckett. R & I had tasty treats in our stocking and B had a toy (thanks, Kelly!) and an ISU jersey. B also got his stroller from grandma and his tricycle from grandpa on Christmas day. It will be a little while before he gets to use them but he was already loving riding around the house in the stroller. He LOVED looking at everything from his new view.

I'm so thankful that we had this morning to celebrate our Saviour's birth and to celebrate all the many blessings He's given us this year. My sweet little family is the best Christmas present I could ask for! We are so blessed!

Bye, Bye!

It's been such a big part of our lives it only seems appropriate to document her last day with us.... We made a million memories in the rear wheel drive beast. :) And traveled what feels like a million miles in it. 

Black Betty's last day with the H fam......

 

B's first and last ride in the beast.

And moving on.........

Me with my Christmas present. :)

How appropriate.... ;)

Six Weeks

SIX weeks. B turned 6 weeks old on Christmas Day. It was our first Christmas morning at home as a family. It was SO great to be able to spend that time together. We drank some hot chocolate (R&me... not B) and opened gifts.. but maybe I'll get around to a post all about Christmas one of these days.

Back to week SIX.

We had a few visitors again this week which was great. The visitors had slowed down for awhile and it was crazy to have to start cooking again! We had been really spoiled!! It was great to have friends over again.

R worked a short week at school so we had Thursday off to run errands and get things done. I (FINALLY) got my hair cut. I lost 5 inches!! It was a bit drastic. However, I quickly noticed that when you have a baby it really doesn't matter what you look like or how much hair you lose. NO one will notice! (Okay.... that's stretching the truth. One of my sisters and my aunt noticed but the other 50 some people we saw did not. Ha.)

While we were in town for haircuts, we took the car in for an oil change. Of course they came out with something else that needed fixed that was a $675 fix. In case you are keeping track, that would make it into the thousands now in recent car repairs for us. Since B and I had recently been on the side of the road on the East side (no offense east siders), it didn't take much discussion for us to get a new car. They had it ready for us Friday so B had his first and last ride in the Mountaineer that day as we took it to the dealership to trade it in. We are loving our new sleigh so far!

B is growing, growing, GROWING and moving, moving, MOVING! He has decided he needs someone to put him down for a nap now and is having hard time falling asleep on his own so he's been a little more fussy than his usual happy self. This week's picture gives you a 'behind the scenes' look how it's becoming more and more difficult for his weekly shots. He is great at sitting up in the corner of the couch but this rounded chair tends to throw him out so he's stuck trying to lay down. I picked a really bad chair for his weekly pictures!! Should've gone with the white couch!

One day I told R that B didn't look like a newborn anymore and within the next three days several people told us the same thing. He's looking 'older' all of a sudden!

At 6 weeks, we FINALLY moved him out of the bassinet part of his sleeper. It was way past time as his little feet hung over the end when he stretched but it's so hard to try something new when it comes to sleeping. Thankfully, he adapted well and actually had a great night's sleep. Hopefully that continues!

We had more Christmas celebrations this week but I hope to get a whole post about Christmas up soon.

Cant believe the little guy is SIX weeks old already and also that Christmas had already happened. Thankfully we leave our tree up until New Years and we still have some Christmas celebrating to do so it's not over yet! :)

Merry Christmas from The H Family!

We hope your Christmas morning was as beautiful as ours was!




(Updated... I thought I had published this yesterday but I came to post his 6 week picture and noticed it never went up. Kind of like my stack of Christmas cards that still haven't been sent out. Oops!)

B's Favorite Things

Last year around this time (or actually quite a bit earlier) I posted about my favorite things and gift ideas. It's funny how my favorite things have changed so much in a year and that my favorite things this year are kind of more like B's favorite things. (Or at least I'm sure they would be if he could tell me.)

1.) MamaRoo

'It moves like you do' is their big selling point. It sounds gimmicky but the thing really is awesome. B is pretty content in it and likes the different settings for different things. (Some of them put him to sleep!) B's big cousin, Maddox, liked the iPod dock feature and said, "Your baby is gonna love this." He was so right! Mama loves it too. And about everyone that comes to the house asks about the thing (Ang could vouch for this, haha). We drag this thing all over the house but the two most popular spots are by the computer (while I edit) and next to the upstairs tree (while we're up there). I love when it's by the tree because it almost looks like it's under the tree so I love the reminder of B under the tree and that he's the only gift we need around here this year! (Corny much?) ;)


2.) Aden & Anais Swaddling wraps for 77 Kids

So they don't have to be the 77 Kids brand (which is good because they style B has are all sold out but they did have pretty rockin' choices) but the Aden & Anais wraps are the best. I wasn't sure how much I would use them in the winter (they're light weight so I thought they might be more of a summer staple) but they are just perfect for swaddling and we are pretty sad when all of his end up in the dirty laundry at the same time.


 3.) Medela iBreastfeed App on the iPhone

(I should have taken my own screenshot and posted it but my phone is upstairs right now.)

There are a lot of baby trackers out there. I had downloaded several to check out before B was born (and even a paid one that I've still never got to work!! Ugh!). This one is my favorite.  I like how it lets me track multiple activities at the same time (through the night, it's common for me to pump while R gives B a bottle). I like the way you can log activities so easily and time activities so easily. My family was making fun of me for tracking B's every move the first couple weeks of his life but it was SO helpful. Seriously- who can remember what time baby ate last when everyone is sleep deprived? When baby is real tiny and you're still figuring out his different cries and hunger signals, the app is helpful in checking to see how long it's been since a certain activity and if that might be what he needs.
At 5 weeks, I no longer track every single activity but I do still use the feeding timer (it's great because now that he is more social he sometimes pulls off to stop and smile at me. I LOVE that he does that but this distraction of his makes it hard to tell if he's done eating or not. Usually the timer is a good indicator for me.) I also time pumping sessions (which is great in the middle of the night when I'm barely awake in a mostly dark room).

And yes... this 'favorite' may be more mine than his but when this screen is up it means eating time for him so I'm sure he loves it too! ;)



So those (along with B's pacifier) are some of our favorite things right now. What's topping your list?

5 Weeks

5 WEEKS!!!

Highlights of this week: 

You are a chunky monkey! We went to our first Mommy n Me class and you weighed in at 10 lbs 3 oz! They said you should have gained 1 to 2 pounds by now and you had gained more than 3. That was on Tuesday and I'm certain you were heavier today than yesterday so I'm sure you are even bigger now. You've been in 0-3 month tops for awhile now but are just now starting to make 0-3 month pants work. For as big as you are, you still have a pretty tiny waist. I really need a 'big and TALL' baby store to find pants that work on your LONG self. 

In other news, you are smiling more and more. You have so many more smiles when you are awake now. It makes it really hard to get much else done because it's so easy to sit and stare at you when you're so smiley. You really are a pretty happy baby most of the time.  (Gosh, I hope I didn't just jinx us.)

It was a busy week but I cant remember too much of what we did. We made it to a couple more basketball games and had another family Christmas. You got to see C&C again and they were still smitten with you. We did a little Christmas shopping and you got to see grandma and SANTA. You were definitely intrigued while meeting Santa for the first time. You just stared and stared at him. He was so glad to meet you and said that he knew you had been a very good boy this year. All you asked for was some good nights sleep. He said he'd try to bring some to mommy too. 

Speaking of which... you have been asleep for two hours now so mommy should get to bed as well! 

Happy FIVE weeks! Let's take this coming week a little slower, shall we?

Dear Beckett,
(Sorry blog world, I promise I'll stop with the letters to Beckett soon and acknowledge you again. Maybe...)
I'm holding you in my arms right now. I just had to run to the computer and write to  you before I forgot how this moment made me feel. On your one month birthday (right now!), you and I were snuggling on the couch just looking at each other. We were studying each other's faces very carefully and at the same time we smiled at each other. I know it might have just been gas for you but it really filled my heart anyway. You are the sweetest, most amazing thing. My heart swells with love when I see your face or say your name or just think about you. For the life of me, I cant remember what life was like without you in it. You've always been a part of daddy & me's stories- we just didn't know it. And as much as we tried to imagine, we certainly didn't know what an amazing part of it you would be. Everyday I love you so much more- and I didn't even know that was possible. I cannot believe you've been here an entire month already. And at the same time, I cant believe you've only been here a month. Seeing you smiley and snuggly, ready for bed after a great day is my life's biggest accomplishment. I used to dream about who you might be or what you might be like but now I know that whatever you do in life, I'll love you so much anyway. Thank you for giving me and daddy the most amazing month of our lives little guy. We love you so, so much.
Love, Your Mama

Now we need to go find your month by month photo cards and take your picture. A very special friend gave them to us and I put them away in a very safe spot--- that I cant remember....

Bombers

B went to his first BHS Bombers game last week. (And it was my first game in the new gym. Pretty exciting!)
Two years ago, the Ballard at Carlisle game was my friend Meredith's little guy's first ball game (her husband is the Carlisle coach) so it was fun to eat dinner her them and have B's first game be the Carlisle at Ballard game. Two years ago, I took their family pictures and Zane's picture with the program from his first game- this time around Mere took our photos and B's photo with the program. So fun!
B slept through the entire game and only woke up when it was time to leave. I'm sure he'll have plenty more games to stay awake for in the future though!

(Oh yeah- Ballard won!)

FOUR Weeks

You are FOUR weeks old, Beckett! (Again- we took your picture late last night and I'm just now getting around to posting it as you lay curled up on my chest.)
I have no idea how four weeks have already passed. You had another busy week. You went shopping for your first Wishing Tree gift. We got a flat tire on the way there. Daddy got the spare on and got us to the tire shop. Of course they don't have changing tables there so we did your first dirty diaper in the lap change. It's a lot easier changing just wets in the lap. Mama had her first public nursing experience (and then had several more this week). So far, my observations on this is that most people ignore you while you nurse (they just run over to see the baby when you're done) but the older men seem to take notice and uncomfortably say 'hello' or 'how are you?' as they walk by. Interesting.
In other firsts, you had your first paid babysitter (as mama worked) and attended your first Ballard basketball game. 'Aunt' Ang is your sitter and you seemed to do just fine. The Ballard game was against Carlisle so your new friend Zane went with us. I actually did get pictures there so maybe I'll get those posted too.
Lastly, you had your very first Christmas celebration. We went to Aunt Kerry's house and your cousins loved on you. You look right at the boys and smile and coo when they talk to you. One of these days (way too soon) you'll be running around with them too. You just wait.
Happy Four Week Birthday, little guy. We love you so much!

Christmas Craft Day '11

We had the third edition of Craft Day here at the Hicks' Ranch last weekend.
Of course it was attended by some fabulous women. I'm blessed to have such great gals to craft with in my life! :) We had some breakfast and did some crafting. And lots of catching up. In fact, by the time I realized what time it was, we had missed lunch and it was time for dinner (which we ate breakfast leftovers for!). Good times!

I realized I didn't get a photo of each craft (and I would take a photo of each of mine but I haven't quite finished all of mine yet.... ha). I tried to get a crafting in action photo but almost everyone hid as the camera came out. Please note the paper covered tables though. No super glue casualties this time around!! :)

We had a little guest make his way downstairs. (Somehow on daddy daycare day, daddy ended up leaving to work out. How does that work?! Ha)

And some of the crafty girls. I never think to take a picture until at least one chica is gone (sorry, Lisa!) and we're also missing Jen (who sent her craft up but stayed home so she wouldn't spread her germs. I ended up getting sick anyway. Bummer!).

But I did get a photo of:
(br) Jill, Erin, Ashley, Kari, Anne
(fr) Molly, Me, Kelsey & Jaren

With some of our crafty goodness.

You can check out all of the projects below (and check out the blogs from those lovely ladies- maybe they'll post their finished projects..... hint hint girls!):

-vintage paper ornaments
-braided headbands
-santa belly ornaments
-scrapbook CDs
-ruffle bags
-block letters
-button paperclips
-button bobby pins
-t-shirt necklace


Thanks for another Craftastic Day, girls!! Cant wait to do it again!


(PS- Have you noticed all the blogging going on here today? I still have the 'snotty nose, sore throat, cant cuddle a baby crud' so Mr Beckett is sitting next to me in his MamaRoo while I blog in between naps- and feel too lousy to do anything else around here... you know.. except for stare at the laundry pile I should be folding)

A Birth Story | Beckett Dane (part 1)

Throughout our pregnancy, we often guessed and wondered when our baby would be born. We talked about what we might be doing when we realized it was 'time.' It was fun to guess what day we might be marking on the calendar for years to come.
Also throughout the pregnancy, our little baby had established a pattern. He was very active late at night, finally falling asleep at midnight. And he was very active early in the morning, waking his mama up at 4:30am. When fall back happened, those times switched to 11pm and 3:30 am respectively. (Keep that in mind for later in the story.)

On Thursday, November 10th, we headed to our routine prenatal appointment. With early signs of preeclampsia, they had been keeping a close eye on my blood pressure and protein levels. At this particular visit I was dilated 1 and 50% effaced with the highest blood pressure I'd had to date. Our OB sent us straight to the hospital. It was looking as though we would be induced but as the maternity ward was filling up fast (due to the full moon or the mom's wanting 11/11/11 babies?) the hospital deemed our case non-emergency and discussed sending us home with our Dr. After a long (LONG) wait that took us late into the evening, we were sent home (no room at the inn!).

I had constant cramping and bleeding from that point on. I was certain I was in pre-labor but I had heard so many times that when the cramping was real contractions "I would just know." Since I had painful contractions in July, I assumed this was not the real deal.
Finally, Saturday night (okay, Sunday morning) at 3:09 am, I called the OB. The constant cramping was enough to keep me awake at night and I needed to know what was up with it! She said I should "probably" go in to the hospital. Since we had been sent in several times and always came home without our baby in our arms, I decided PROBABLY didn't sound real promising so I laid back down. Just 20 minutes before my normal wake up call from baby.

At 3:27 am (right on schedule) I was awakened again by baby H- only this time it was with my water breaking. Laying in bed I felt the 'trickle.' As I got into the bathroom, it was more obvious. I grabbed the amniotest swab and right away it turned green (though I didn't have the results sheet to look at so I wasn't sure what green meant). I called the Dr and she said, "Let's try this again- you NEED to get into the hospital. Go now!"

I woke up R and told him what was going on. "ARE YOU SURE?" he asked. Well, no. I wasn't SURE as my water had never broke but given the situation.... yes, I was pretty sure. ;) We both examined the situation (that's all the details you are getting there.. ha) and decided maybe we should head in. R decided to take a shower first. I finished packing and picked up a little around here. After we made the bed I was getting ready to wash the dishes in the sink when I realized if this baby didn't come out within so often of my water breaking I would need a C-Section. My attitude changed and we HAD to get to the hospital.

We headed in to get checked in. At this point it was about 5 am. (Keep in mind we've been checked in to the maternity floor a few times by this point so we were pretty familiar faces around there.) This time they sent us straight to labor and delivery. They quickly gowned me up and deemed us "keepers." It was really about to happen!

(And..... I just realized this story is going to have to happen in parts because I have a sweet baby to cuddle. Hopefully part 2 will be posted shortly. Don't hold me to that though!)

Three Weeks

Dear Beckett,
You are THREE WEEKS old today! Well yesterday, but we didn't get a post up fast enough. In fact, we barely got a photo taken. At about 10pm, daddy said we needed to get one in. Mama was feeling awfully sick and hadn't made it too far away from the couch all day. We snapped a quick picture and took the first one we got. I imagine there will be more photos of you not posing perfectly and looking at the camera. I'm okay with that.
I do love this picture though because it shows how big you are. Especially compared to that two week picture. Almost everyday this week we commented on how much bigger and older you looked. I imagine you packed on several ounces this week. ;)
You are smiling and cooing so much more. You have a little chuckle that you let out and it gets us all laughing. They say the first real smile is the one that you use your entire face for. You smile with your whole face every time so we thought it would be hard to tell when your first 'real' smile was. Though this week, you smiled after we were talking and laughing with you and it didn't coincide with shortly after a feeding so we think it may have been the real deal. :)
Though you seem to be getting bigger, you're still a skinny thing. With your length, it's hard to find clothes that fit right now. Newborns are too short and 0-3s are too bulky and we worry about them bunching around your face while you sleep. Currently you're sleeping in a one piece thats definitely high waters on you. Don't worry, we didn't take your photo in them.
Your major highlight this week was spending lots of time with grandma. She came to stay for three days while mama went back to work. It was SO nice to have her here and we were all spoiled. You definitely missed her as soon as she was gone (we all did!).
Happy 3 Weeks, little guy! We love you so much!