To choose one quote to sum up my feelings on 2010 it would be:
"In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity." -Einstein
Choosing one word for 2010: opportunity.
With multiple challenges at work, God placed an amazing opportunity in my lap (literally- in the form of a new camera near the end of 2009). I started the year with a new hobby and it morphed into a part-time, then full-time (when I could find the the time) job.
I discovered that I loved it. And that, with some adjustments, I could possibly make it a career.
We were (still) struggling with infertility. (As I type this, we still are- please don't correct my tense use English teachers- I have high hopes that God will change this from 'are' to 'were' by the time this posts.
We think about adoption. We talk about adoption. We've hoped to adopt but the doors keep closing.
It is in our hearts and we do hope to adopt someday but at this point I'm longing for a newborn in our arms.
Photographing newborns is such a treasure to me. I meet these tiny, precious, miracles just a few days old and I just fall in love. I'm completely in awe of them. I take the job of capturing their brand newness seriously. I'm truly blessed to get the chance to take on this job. I am humbled and honored that parents would choose me to capture these memories and that God would use me to record this moment in their lives.
I think about adoption and how, in some cases, parents may not get to meet their little one as a newborn (and sometimes not until much later). My heart aches for them but I love that this job helps me to preserve that special newborn time.
I had a dream last night. Rusty and I were cuddling on our very own newborn. We were so happy. I believe God. I believe that He has a big plan for us. I pray, oh I pray, that His plan for us involves blessings in the form of babies. To be honest, I had lost hope that it did until I woke up from my dream last night. It was the happiest I had been in such a long time. Even as I awoke, I wasn't sad that it was only a dream- I was happy that it was God's way of telling me whats yet to come. I trust in Him. I have high hopes for this year.
As I think about opportunity in the middle of difficulty, I have to wonder if His plan for me might involve using my pain from longing for a newborn and applying it to photography. I would love, love, love to start photographing more newborns and maybe He's given me the love I need for them by making it so much more meaningful to me.
I pray that when this posts (long after I've forgotten about it and right when I will be surprised to see it) that I'm on a new career path, that I'm holding a baby in my arms, and that R and I love each other more than ever. I pray that we will be praising God for all the blessings in 2011 and thanking Him for carrying out His will in our lives.
I know I'm thankful for His will in my life in 2010. I don't fully understand it yet, but I feel so blessed.
