Also throughout the pregnancy, our little baby had established a pattern. He was very active late at night, finally falling asleep at midnight. And he was very active early in the morning, waking his mama up at 4:30am. When fall back happened, those times switched to 11pm and 3:30 am respectively. (Keep that in mind for later in the story.)
On Thursday, November 10th, we headed to our routine prenatal appointment. With early signs of preeclampsia, they had been keeping a close eye on my blood pressure and protein levels. At this particular visit I was dilated 1 and 30% effaced with the highest blood pressure I'd had to date. Our OB sent us straight to the hospital. It was looking as though we would be induced but as the maternity ward was filling up fast (due to the full moon or the mom's wanting 11/11/11 babies?) the hospital deemed our case non-emergency and discussed sending us home with our Dr. After a long (LONG) wait that took us late into the evening, we were sent home (no room at the inn!).
I had constant cramping and bleeding from that point on. I was certain I was in pre-labor but I had heard so many times that when the cramping was real contractions "I would just know." Since I had painful contractions in July, I assumed this was not the real deal.
Finally, Saturday night (okay, Sunday morning) at 3:09 am, I called the OB. The constant cramping was enough to keep me awake at night and I needed to know what was up with it! She said I should "probably" go in to the hospital. Since we had been sent in several times and always came home without our baby in our arms, I decided PROBABLY didn't sound real promising so I laid back down. Just 20 minutes before my normal wake up call from baby.
At 3:27 am (right on schedule) I was awakened again by baby H- only this time it was with my water breaking. Laying in bed I felt the 'trickle.' As I got into the bathroom, it was more obvious. I grabbed the amniotest swab and right away it turned green (though I didn't have the results sheet to look at so I wasn't sure what green meant). I called the Dr and she said, "Let's try this again- you NEED to get into the hospital. Go now!"
I woke up R and told him what was going on. "ARE YOU SURE?" he asked. Well, no. I wasn't SURE as my water had never broke but given the situation.... yes, I was pretty sure. ;) We both examined the situation (that's all the details you are getting there.. ha) and decided maybe we should head in. R decided to take a shower first. I finished packing and picked up a little around here. After we made the bed I was getting ready to wash the dishes in the sink when I realized if this baby didn't come out within so often of my water breaking I would need a C-Section. My attitude changed and we HAD to get to the hospital.
We headed in to get checked in. At this point it was nearing 5 am. (Keep in mind we've been checked in to the maternity floor a few times by this point so we were pretty familiar faces around there.) This time they sent us straight to labor and delivery. They quickly gowned me up and deemed us "keepers." It was really about to happen!
Looking at the photo of me arriving in the delivery room, I remember how I felt walking in there. I was a wife, a sister, a daughter, a friend. And I was a mom. But not in the sense that I was about to be a mom. It's one thing to be a mom and carrying your sweet baby around in your belly, but standing there in that room at that moment, I could not imagine just how much my life would change that day and just how different the word mom would soon feel to me.
But I'm getting ahead of myself.
Around 5 am, I was gowned up and hooked up to the machines. My IV was in and all systems were go. I was having enough contractions to be picked up by the monitor (though they still weren't painful) but they weren't moving too fast yet.
In my 'birth plan,' I said I did not want pitocin (I had heard labor hurts more with it), I did not want an epidural too soon (I didn't want it to slow things down) and I did not want an episiotomy (I didn't want the recovery involved).
At 5:45 am, I was started on pitocin. At this point, the alternative discussed was my labor not moving fast enough and ultimately resulting in that C-Section I didn't want so the pitocin didn't sound so evil.
Once I was on it, things started moving pretty quickly. At 7:20 am, we contacted our doula and contractions were picking up. Before too long, I was dilated to 5. R had been doing some great work on my back and I tried sitting on the birth ball. That combined with the pain shots that started at 9:00am and I wasn't struggling too bad.
By 9:30, I was getting pretty uncomfortable. Rusty spent a lot of time holding me close and praying. He was a rockstar! But I went ahead and got a second pain shot. It made me feel well enough to send Rusty off to eat. I even sat up and read my Karen Kingsbury book I had been wanting to finish before baby's arrival. It didn't last long and by 9:45 I needed R back. Now! With some cold compresses and pressure, I was feeling well enough to rest in between contractions and R was reading, "The Power of a Praying Parent" to me. Our Dr arrived at 9:50 and said everything was looking great!
By 10:55 am all of the pain meds were wearing off and I started throwing up. Our doula kept telling us that this was a good sign! I felt well enough to eat after vomiting so I kept sneaking snacks. I remember eating some granola bars and fruit snacks but I was insistent that Rusty eat the red fruit snacks so they wouldn't think there was blood in my vomit. (I don't know if that was silly or not?) Our nurse, Laurel, was the most amazing nurse and was completely cool with me sneaking the snacks. She was great at turning her head and 'not knowing' a thing was going on. :) She did bring me some popsicles which weren't bad and hospital jello which was horrible. Rusty kept working on the back pressure points (he really was a rockstar!).
At 11:00 Laurel (seriously, the best labor and delivery nurse we could have asked for!) asked if I was ready for the epidural. I knew I wanted one but I really felt great in between contractions so I didn't want it yet if it was going to slow things down. She suggested calling it in anyway so it was there when I was ready for it. I'm so glad she did.
I was starting to get pretty uncomfortable. I was hot and the cold compresses were feeling good. The only problem with them was that I kept using them to wipe myself up- I did not like feeling dirty on one of the biggest days of my life so vomit, sweat, and all other bodily fluids were getting wiped up as quickly as I could. I was told later that we ended up going through about 20 washcloths.... oops! They kept having to replace them from the laundry cart. By 11am I was already dilated to 9cm.
When Laurel had said things could start moving quickly.... 'quickly' turned out to be an understatement. By the time my epidural (finally) arrived (at 11:48am) I was dilated to 9 1/2. At this point they said I was close enough to deliver without it. However, also at this point I NEEDED that epidural 10 MINUTES AGO. ;) They went ahead and gave me the epidural. (I've had SEVERAL people tell me they thought you couldn't have an epidural that late. The nurses all told me that was a myth and that you can get an epidural anytime before the baby crowns. I have no education in this area but I do know they gave me an epidural at this point!) We were SO happy to see that epidural tray arrive!
At 11:50 am they did a test run of the epidural and at 11:55 am they did the actual epidural. I am told that R and I were rock steady and we didn't waiver a bit. I have no memory whatsoever of the epidural being painful at all. I remember watching videos of it done and being told that it hurts- honestly I don't even remember it going in. I had my head buried on R's chest and I remember focusing all of my energy into the point where my head met his chest and before I knew it they said they were done. The worst part of the epidural was the chills I started getting afterwards.
By 12:10 I was feeling great again and I remember being so relaxed and happy and excited about what was about to happen. R finally let me start telling what B's name was! It was fun to start saying it out loud to other people. At 12:45 R started calling the people that I wanted to call. Originally we thought it would just be R & I in the labor and delivery room and we wouldn't call anyone until B was 2 hours old. Well when it came down to it I was so excited I wanted my mom and a best friend there. Jen showed up around this time and I was so excited to see her. I felt so loved and honored that she would come spend this amazing day with us. She is an awesome support (and also an awesome photographer. She grabbed my camera and got some amazing shots of the day). She was exactly what I needed!
At 1pm, they had me practice push. I felt so unprepared going into this part but Dr. Kemp-Glock (our favorite OB!) and Laurel (the amazing nurse!) were so awesome. They had me push. And push. And push. In between pushes we joked around and I showed off my 'push present' to myself (my new boots!). :) By 1:55, my mom had shown up. My older sister brought her. We all thought they would wait in the waiting room but to everyone's surprise (I think even they were surprised) they stayed. Mom kept saying she didn't want to but she did anyway. Ha. It was the first birth (other than us 5 kids) that my mom witnessed. B's a pretty special baby to get that stat!
Everyone started telling me they could see B's hair but they all kept telling me different colors... I heard blonde, black, brown, red. I was getting frustrated with this and told them to knock it off until they could tell me for sure! (I figured they were just making it up since they couldn't agree on the color) It's funny because B is currently 2 months old and we STILL don't know what color his hair is. Ha! It definitely looks different colors depending on the light (and how clean or greasy it is...ha).
By 2:53 I was so tired of pushing and ready for the show to get on the road so I had my mom come over to the bedside. She prayed over us. Rusty gave me my beautiful push present (my necklace!). And all of a sudden it was time to deliver!
At 3:10, I had the strangest fluttering, kicking, moving sensation way low. Dr. Kemp-Glock said B was getting in his last kicks and was ready to make his way into the world! I was really, really, really tired of pushing by this point. Everyone kept talking about B's head and the Dr. talked me into reaching down to feel it. I completely did not want to. They had to talk me into it but I finally did. Ohmygoodness it was one of the most amazing things ever to feel my baby on the outside of my body for the first time ever. I remember the love that flooded over me at that moment and I cant imagine I had to be talked into doing it.
At 3:25 pm Dr. Kemp-Glock tells me that I can push for 20 more minutes or she can do a small episiotomy and I can have my baby in my arms after the very next push. I was so conflicted on what to do and asked everyone for the right answer! Finally I said OK let's do it! Literally she snipped a tiny cut and his head slipped right out at 3:26pm! (OH if I'd only known it was 'that easy' I would have had the episiotomy a lot sooner! Ha) They have me stop pushing, they get him ready and with one more easy push, our perfect baby boy entered the world at 3:27pm.
I can't describe with words what happened after that. They laid this perfect little miracle that I had dreamed about for so long on my chest and he was mine. R&I just stared at him. I remember thinking, "OH so that's who you are." And just like that he was our little man and it felt like he had always been here. It's amazing how fast that bond happens, how fast that connection begins. And how fast you forget what being a family of two felt like.
Rusty cut his umbilical cord at 3:29pm. My mom came over to meet her newest grandson. At 3:32 Laurel took Beckett to check his vitals. Rusty followed that baby as close as he could! His vitals were great- an 8.5 Apgar at birth and a 9 soon after. He weighed in at 7lbs 4oz and was 21.5in long!
I have no idea what was going on with myself at this time. I'm told they delivered the placenta and stitched me up but I honestly don't remember it.
At 3:42, Rusty gets to hold Beckett for the first time. This moment was one of my very favorite moments of the day. Seeing his face in this moment was amazing. The only other time I ever remember seeing so much emotion in Rusty's face was when we were married. It was magical to see him transform into a daddy right in front of my eyes. This is when my happy tears started!
At 3:54, I (finally!) got Beckett back into my arms. We got him latched on right away and I was so proud of my little champ! At some point in the day my dad had shown up at the hospital. (It was by chance that he happened to be in Des Moines when all this was going on and by chance that he was able to make it. I'm so glad it worked out this way because otherwise I'm not sure when he would have been able to meet B!). He (not so) patiently waited outside the door and was finally let in at 4:30 when B was finished eating. He was a pretty proud papa. My mom and dad both got to hold the little guy before we got ready to head down to postpartum.
I was on cloud nine and feeling great until they got me out of bed to see if I could use the restroom. My blood pressure dropped, I turned green and just about hit the floor. They got me back into bed and I started getting chills. They covered me with heated blankets and put a catheter in before I could go downstairs. Once my levels were okay, they got me into the wheelchair and we got ready to check out of the delivery room. I am ALWAYS the one to check under the beds and around the bathroom sink (twice) before leaving a hotel room. That thought crossed my mind for half a second as Laurel asked if we got everything but my sweet baby boy was in my arms and that was all I was really concerned about leaving that room with. (I have no idea who packed everything up. And I do mean everything! We had a ton of stuff in there!
As they wheeled us down the hall, through the bright lights and over the bump into the elevator, my sweet little guy started fussing and right away with nothing more than my voice and my hands, I was able to sooth him.
That's when I realized I was a mom. I was his mom.
And it was amazing.
The rest of the day went by pretty quickly. We went to the nursery (while we were in there Maddox showed up and got to see Beckett through the window) then back to the room where B had a room full of visitors. Once everything calmed down and our visitors were gone, the three of us laid in the hospital bed and 'Safe and Sound' came on the playlist. It was one of the most amazing moments of my life. Our little guy was here. He was in our arms. And he was indeed, safe and sound. God is SO good!
(This may be the longest blog post ever and I'm not going to proofread it right now. Sorry! Also, no I didn't remember those times. I had started a timeline on my iPhone but by 4:55 I had given that up. Thankfully, our doula Sara kept a great record of everything and shared it with me later. She (and everyone else that was a part of our amazing day) was awesome!)
