Disclaimers:
-I'm hesitant to use the words 'staying home' in the title because what I really do is work from home. I work full time hours for my photography business and I work full time hours as a mom. When I'm being honest, it irritates me when people say, "Oh so you just stay home?" I want to say, "JUST?" I wonder why it's considered work for the daycare provider if I were to drop him off with them but it's not considered work when I do it myself. I wish moms- staying home, working from home, working outside the home, or otherwise, could just ban together and stop tearing each other down. But I suppose that's a post for another day.
-This post is real about feelings (obviously; see above) and finances. If that bothers you, you should turn away now.
-This post doesn't talk about the emotional costs of working outside the home vs. working from home. (That will come in part two.)
-This post is about what is working for us. It's not the answer for everyone or every situation. It's not meant to persuade you one way or the other or to judge you for choosing one way over another. It's only meant to give you my perspective and encourage you to look at all sides of the picture before making a the decision that's best for you and your family.
We went out for breakfast the other day at one of my favorite places. It was a rare treat; I think it'd been five years since our last visit. These days going out to eat happens less and less and this time it almost didn't happen at all. On the way to breakfast I was opening the mail. We received a notice that the insurance (for just B & I- R not included) was going up to over $550 a month. Ouch. My first thought, as it often is these days, was that I needed to 'go back to work.' (Again, just so we are completely clear- I do work and would consider myself working even if I didn't have the full-time photography business. Am I sounding defensive yet?) ;)
I do miss my old job. I miss my co-workers. I miss the students. I miss the classroom. I miss the feeling of changing lives. And when I'm being honest, I miss the paycheck. Somedays I miss work so much that it's all I can do to keep myself from moving back into my classroom. On those days, I take one look at B and remember why I'm not there. I'm quickly brought back to my reality (that I love).
But I'm getting ahead of myself.
As I was trying to make the decision to take a leave from teaching, I searched the web for a post just like this one. I couldn't find it anywhere so I hope it helps you if you find yourself in the position I was in. While I knew the costs for working from home and working outside the home would be different, I wasn't exactly sure of how that would translate. Here's what it looks like for us.
Costs if I were teaching:
-Individual insurance for B (both R & I would have ours covered through work)- approximately $270 (This is a guesstimate using R's +1 at work. I'm not sure what it would be through my school.)
-Daycare- approximately $575/month (this is the low end of our daycare options we looked at)
-Extra gas- $112 (I used the AAA fuel calculator to figure this but when I looked at my extra miles and our mpg, it comes out to the same.)
Financial costs if I work from home:
-Insurance for B & I- $550/month (This is a middle of the road plan that does not cover maternity costs. If we were wanting to have another child, I would need to move to a different plan before becoming pregnant. Which is why we absolutely cannot afford another child right now. Ugh.)*
As you can see, that's a $407 difference. For my purposes, I took my paycheck and subtracted the $407 from my take home pay to see what my 'new wages' would be. The remaining income was just $400/month more than what I make working from home.**
$400/month is not enough money for me to miss out on all of B's major milestones. I worked day care long enough to know that good daycare providers do not tell you that you missed your baby's first steps. I would easily pay $400/month to get those mid morning snuggles with B and to watch him learn how to build with blocks. When he said his first words after waking up from a nap one day, I was ecstatic to pay $400/month to be the one to pick him up out of that crib. $400/month to see him chase the dog and pull on his tail? You bet I'd pay that.
That being said, everyone's situation is different. Your costs are likely different and possibly include other things not listed here. I could have added in clothing costs (because if I were to need enough clothes to look presentable 6 days of the week instead of just a couple, I would have had to purchase all new clothes (twice) since B was born). We should also be setting money aside each month for me to take a future maternity leave. We aren't currently doing that but if we were, I would add that to a cost from working at home. If you were to run the heat more during the day if you were home (we don't), that could be an added cost. If you eat lunch out while you're working that's something to consider. My point- there are more factors to think about than 'just the basics.'
I will leave you with this.... when R & I were first married, I remember listening to a radio broadcast about marriage and raising a family (I think it may have been a family first broadcast though I'm not sure). He recommended that if you plan to stay home in the future with your children that it would be wise to not currently work outside of the home. His reasoning was that you will become accustomed to your dual incomes and upon having a baby would switch to a single income- leaving you with half as much money in the time of your life that you'll need more money than before. At the time I thought that was ridiculous. (And in retrospect, I'm glad I continued working until B was born- we were able to finish a lot of house projects and take some trips that we would not have been able to otherwise. We had money in savings so I was able to take somewhat of a maternity leave. I also cant imagine waiting four years to get pregnant and to not be working during that time. Yikes.) I still think it's a little far fetched that we would have gone that route but.... before B was born we did have a lot more income. R had a full-time job and two part-time jobs. I had two full-time jobs and a handful of part-time jobs (at one point I was literally getting paychecks from 6 different sources). When we got our taxes back this year, we found that we made $50,000 less this year than we did two years ago. While that's obviously more than $400/month, there is no way we would have the time to be parents and to continue working as many jobs as we once were. So while I am thankful I didn't completely stop working five years ago, I do think we could have worked less. Because a $50,000/year cut is a noticeable difference in this house.
But you know, I think I'd pay $50,000/year to be B's full-time mama anyway.
*If you continue to ask when B will be a big brother, I will request that you put money in our saving for future maternity costs and/or adoption fund. You've been warned. ;)
**That's a projection. Since I don't make hourly wage it's hard to predict how much I'll make a month. Through the winter when it's tough to book sessions, the difference is greater. Through the summer, it's less. We do our best to pay me a monthly check that is about the same each month and we trust that God will continue to provide and meet our basic needs. So far He's never let us down. :)
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